the downside of marriage life -- part eight

bali wedding

The husband and wife were about to enter a restaurant selling Japanese food when suddenly one of them heard his mobile phone ringing. "From work," he mouthed to her: "This won't take long." They proceeded to enter the restaurant, got seated, and were handed the menu, all while the husband's talking on the phone.

Five minutes later and the call didn't show any sign coming to a end, the wife called the waiter to place her order. Their order. She chose the strangest-sounding stuff from the menu for his hubby.

"Our apologies, but we ran out of shisamo," said the waiter. At that time the husband ended the call and flipped his phone shut. "Then we'll have karito," he said. And to his wife, after the waiter's out of hearing range: "And what on earth is a shisamo?"

"No idea," said the wife, "Why don't you google it?"

"From now on I will continue to order random things for you if call from work is taking too long."

tortured fish

And that's the story of how the husband almost ate the most terrified-slash-offended-looking fish, like you insult the fish' ancestor while threatening to cut it into seven pieces or something.

well you see, the thing is...

toilet stalls

I'm a girl. When I poo, I do not wish other people to start calling my name - but my colleague did. Repeatedly. "Do you happen to be in here?"

The first time it happened, words failed me. Now I'm kinda used to it. "What?"

"The guest is having difficulties connecting to the wifi."

Rolling my eyes up, I mustered an answer. "Too bad, the guest will have to wait 15 minutes. I'm... busy."

But I couldn't finish the dump. My colleague had scared the poor poo-poos into hiding higher up my arse.

With such a mood I went off to the company's guest area. "Hi, sorry that you're unable to connect to our wif-" And like in the movies, the kind that cast Drew Barrymore, the guest lifted his d*mn handsome face. Like, super-handsome. I've never seen a company guest this handsome. Like the byproduct of a lab's crossing experiment between Andy Lau Tak-wah and Snoop Dog.

andy lau snoop dogg
I know right? No longer hard to imagine...

While I was half-helping the guest half-dreaming about what our kid together would look like, my tactless colleague's eyes caught mine. The one who'd patrolled bathrooms in search for me. And I realized, in horror, that she'd probably told him what she had thought I'd been doing then.

andy lau snoop dogg
Buh-bye ex future son.

But in all fairness, I wish that the internet in my country will get better now that it's half a year to 2018. I mean c'mon, it's about time. Don't you think so?

haven't been blogging for a long time

crabtree & evelyn

... Sorry about that. So what do I do while not blogging? Not much, really. I didn't get far with my Chinese language learning, nor did I do many useful things.

I tried to reread the whole Harry Potter saga but got stuck in The Order of the Phoenix, a.k.a the fifth book of the serie. I spent like, a month reading it. Umbridge's reign was not easy to read. I think she's even worse than Voldemort. Dunno why, for Umbridge never killed anybody and Voldemort's victim body count is plenty.

I've also been going around shopping malls trying new scents, for my current perfume, Issey Miyake's L'Eau d'Issey, is but a few more sprays now. I think it won't last till end of this month. Still I haven't bought anything. My favorite so far is Caribbean Island Wild Flowers by Crabtree & Evelyn. But they only have it as Eau de Toilette, which is too weak in projection and sillage for me. It's strange, because their other EDT, Somerset Meadow, has OK-ish sillage.

Caribbean Island Wild Flowers smelt like canned tomatoes to me. I also noticed a faint whiff of butter and walnut. Those three notes were not listed in Fragrantica when I browsed the internet later. Well, that's what makes perfumes exciting, right? No perfume will smell the same on two people.