do you still think about the dreams you had as a kid?

brides and grooms

I dreamed of a pair after a pair after a pair of groom and bride walked past me, and then someone told me "Everyone has their own caret."

What the **** is a caret? It has no meaning in my mother tongue (the language that guy spoke in).

all toothache and no play makes jack a dull boy

here comes dull boy!

A worker at my office had a toothache. Although his salary is not much (he cleans the toilets), the company actually pays for our healthcare, so he could actually go to the dentist. However, seeing the awfully long queue, he gave up, went home, and took things in his own hand, quite literally.

Now you should stop reading here if you are squeamish...

decayed tooth
You've been warned.

According to his story (and I'm still cringing everytime I remember it), he laid down, lifted a wrench at arm's length, aimed, and dropped the wrench to the tooth that'd been bothering him.

He was successful, the pain disappeared with the tooth, and there was blood everywhere.

what if i wanted to grow my own chicken

baby chicken

So in the name of science, I researched Chinese recipes. Not necessarily the recipes to Chinese food, but more about the way they write those recipes in China.

So the first recipe I found called for half a chicken, ginger, salt, vinegar, and other ingredients in their respective size to make a chicken soup, Chinese style.

chinese chicken soup
Chinese chicken soup, a.k.a qīngdùn jītāng (清炖鸡汤)

The first step was to buy a chicken. Chinese people with their Confusian teaching! I didn't expect a recipe to tell me not to steal the chicken, not to rob a butcher for white meat. It could be that the broth won't turn out good if the chicken was acquired by illegal means.

you don't say
My face exactly.

Come to think of it, looking for a job should be the first step. You cannot buy chicken without money. And unless you're underage or some rich guy's mistress, you work for money. You use that salary of your job to buy chicken. Period.