a little too persistent aren't you google?

"New! Your blog posts will now be automatically shared to Google+ whenever you publish something new. You can disable this setting by visiting the Google+ tab."

I don't want this. How do I cancel this? All that are there in my Google+ tab is an option to connect my blog to Google+. To reach more readers in new ways, they said.

What if I have blogs that I don't want to share with the world?

do not play victim

obi wan kenobi


... I fought my tendency to be arrogant, to be bitter, to be whining and complaining all the time, to be negative, to boast about my *cough* overrated *cough* self-righteousness, to be grudgeous -- is that even a word? -- basically, to be human.

Yes some people have mistreated me in the past, but it is not an excuse to lie around doing nothing, play victim. I will rise again, I will overcome. Like the angel said to Mary, Immanuel: God is with us.

Why? What is the danger of playing victim?

I wonder.

... If Saul took what Samuel said in 1 Sam 12 personally.

I mean like the theory I've read somewhere, that children of divorced couples often blame themselves for what happened.

So what's with Samuel and Saul?

Let me give you a glimpse of what had happened. Saul, the first anointed king, just won a war against the Ammonites. Before him, no one had ever been anointed king. Israel, until shortly before, had been ruled by judges. One of the last judges was bidding goodbye to the nation. He was going to retire and leave things to be taken care by the new, young king.

Not before making a fuss first, Israeli-style.

"Then Samuel called on the Lord, and that same day Lord sent thunder and rain. So all the people stood in awe of the Lord and Samuel."

Samuel's got to say something. "Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes! ... realize what an evil thing you did in the eyes of the Lord when you asked for a king."

I feel for Saul! I can see his eyes grew larger and larger listening to every words.

Now he got two choices. One is to be truly offended - "You talked me into agreeing all this coronation bulls... thing, yet now you're telling people they've committed a great sin by asking for a king?" Another is to humble oneself in front of God whose right mind he couldn't fathom.

He could play victim or he could play along.

So what did he choose?



How I wish to see this story ends differently! How Samuel wished to see this story ends differently! "You have done a foolish thing... He would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time."


Btw this crossed my mind just now, but perhaps the writer of Star Wars had this biblical story in mind when creating the scene in Mustafar. You know, just before the duel, Obi Wan Kenobi told Anakin Skywalker: "You were the chosen one!"

the way we dance

the way we dance

This review maybe partially biased, since I really love the genre of the movie.


Okay, not maybe. This review is certainly partially biased. On the second thought, not even only partially. It is fully biased. :D

The Way We Dance is a Hong Kong film following Fleur, daughter of tofu seller who loved dancing. She attended university and comedic scenes appear. When I read reviews online, people even were comparing one actor in this movie with Stephen Chow. But soon I learned that this movie is not only about funny scenes. Oh how I love the way Tommy 'Guns' Ly convey this message: "How far will you go for dancing?" Love it tons!

I also love Fleur's answer: "From the moment I get up, I think about dance. On a bus or the subway, I think about dance. While slicing tofu, I think about dance. While taking a shower, I think about dance. When I see my reflection on a mirror, I think about dance."

For the first 20 minutes I must admit I am bored, though. I even stopped watching to chat with my lover. But since the scene with Rooftoppers I couldn't avert my eyes!

where did the nose go?

harry potter

In the first Harry Potter movie series, Voldemort that grew behind Professor Quirrel's head had a nose, but he had none in later installments.

Anyone know why?

december flower

december flower

When I was a kid I used to be very happy when December came. Cloudy afternoons that dragged lazily into drizzly evenings, then going out at night when the rain had stopped completely, leaving wet, dark sands that reflected a thousand tiny stars under street lamp shine.

I used to stomp on them, amused by the fact that I couldn't erase those stars and by the rustling sound they made against the bottom of my shoes. Until a parent or both called me, that is.

Oh and don't let get me started on midnight wind that found its way through the window sills into my bedroom, and the sound of thunder someplace afar! In rainy seasons I managed to wake up a lot at night, sometime near midnight is the best time to listen to nature's sound.

Mornings were kind of hazy. Not always rain-free, but most of the time my classmates and I got into the classroom dry. Learning is a hundred times more fun when sunlight wasn't too hard on our juvenile eyes. Even the teachers seemed kinder and smiled a lot more.

In one of those days a flower called December flower bloomed in our garden. Nobody admitted of planting it, but it couldn't just grew by itself, like the tuber had been carried from some other place by a rat, right? Right?

I don't remember much about the flower, but I remember that it had the color red. It's not the bold red like the roses had, in fact the color was so common, so everyday-ish. We happily welcomed the flower not because of its astounding beauty, but because everything around us was staged to make us do so. Happy people tend to be more accepting and less judgmental, I guess.



I am now very judgmental. I have been hawking my talents like snack on the street — Do you need a ghostwriter? A translator? How about a typewriter?— and thinking that any guy who doesn't work as hard as I do yet managed to get richer than me must be a corrupt official, while any girl who works less hard than I do yet managed to get richer than me must be a... you know what it is I wanted to say.

This December I don't notice the rain, I do not observe sweet winds caressing my arms. I spent half my time writing, half my time looking for new clients. It seems like writers are spawning faster and faster while writing jobs are getting sparser and sparser. I will consider myself lucky if I can put on a new robe and go to a nice dinner with some friends for one time in this month. For one time after a few months, actually.


*No, 'typewriter' is not a product of any mistyping by me. Do you need typewriter(s)? Give me email address(es) to send price quotations to!

nciku vs line

nciku vs line

I usually use Nciku for learning Chinese language, but today it redirects to a page that shows Line's logo. Was Nciku being acquisitioned by Line?

But its functionality drops down significantly. The most obvious change is that Line no longer provides Chinese character handwriting recognition and lesson of the day. :(

penguins of madagascar

penguins of madagascar

Isn't it an ill time to release this movie? Less than a month after the incident involving a seal and a penguin went viral, I mean.

And about that one seal in the North Wind team. It is a harpseal alright, don't harpseals feed on penguins like leopard seals do?

Also, North Wind? How does SQL Server's example database's name find its way up there?

the downside of marriage life -- part two

There are other drawbacks to married life that is similar to having a pet under your care. Being concerned over their abnormal bowel movements, for example. If they don't come home on time, we are worried they might encounter a problem with bullies from either species. Also when they are out of sight and hearing range, we are afraid they mate with unhygienic member of the opposite sex and will have to take them to veterinarians-slash-doctors to treat fleas or some STDs.

the downside of marriage life

So yesterday a rumor was developing that Pluto got declared a planet again.

Yesterday I also realized the downside of marriage life. Don't get me wrong, like all things in life, marriage has its fair share on upside and downside. Just want to write about the downside right now, though.

One of the downside of marriage life is you are confined to bed. Literally. At 4 am, with your energy steaming, waiting to explode, the only thing you do is laying there, staring at the ceiling because you're afraid of disturbing your spouse's sleep.

Which is okay if you don't have that sudden energy flow like, twice every three days. In my unwed days, I live as I want. I wash my clothes at 2 am, do some cleaning at 3.

I am also a writer. This link leads to one of my work, collaged online by someone. That piece was written at strange hours. If my spouse and I don't get separate bedrooms soon, either he will suffer from lack of sleep or I will be eaten alive by my own creative energy.

the end of printed matters

Last night I dreamed that bank denied my writer's check. I went to the publisher to see what's going on. My editor, standing in front of what seemed like a confiscation scene, explained to me that people don't read newspapers, books, etc anymore. People had turned into digital stuffs. Therefore they were closing the office.

guardians of the galaxy

Guardians of The Galaxy is overrated. It is nothing more than a talking raccoon, a greenish orphan girl from the Avatar planet, and a talking tree.

And a human. And that guy who takes things literally. I already regret judging movies by their trailer, now I regret watching movies by how often it's being mentioned in 9gag.


Microsoft's been in dispute with N-Computing since a long time ago, because this item can substitute a CPU without having to buy another copy of Windows.

Sometime later though, I think Microsoft won the case on the court, because N-Computing started removing their Q&A that stated that using their product would not make companies subject to copyright infringement by Microsoft, and started posting something like 'Must buy Windows <input type and version here> to use N-Computing'.

In October 2014 Microsoft enforce this through their Windows Update. If the main computer's Windows is updated, N-Computing will kick out any non-license-paying users.

The solution? Do not install the update starting from October 2014 and beyond! If it's already done, roll back using System Restore to any date before October 2014.

pempek sriwijaya -- part two

I now take away the title of best pempek on earth from Pempek Sriwijaya of Sidoarjo. It is located on Duryat Street, and I will not eat there in the near time.

Indonesia's inflation has taken its toll on this place. Before that, they gave two jar of vinegar -one is hot and spicy, one is sweet- for each customer ordering pempek(s), to have as much as desired with their pempeks. After money is tight, they dilute the vinegars with water! Unacceptable!

Later because of many people protesting, they changed their policy by pouring those vinegars directly on customers' plates, so bye-bye vinegar jars, bye-bye can take as much vinegar as desired.

I mean the price they charge for pempek is already not cheap, why insists on treating customers this way?

katawa shoujo

I was overdrinking tea. While wooing Hanako, that is. Imagine, on the day of festival she was hiding in the library. Then the character I played offered her to drink tea together in one of the empty classrooms at school. After some time passed, her friend appeared and together the three of them went to a cafe called Shanghai to drink... tea. Again.

Weren't they afraid they all were going to die from tein poisoning or something like that?


Unlike clipping nails in public, in my country spitting in public is widely shunned by society, but even so, a few months ago I saw a shopkeeper of a shopping mall spat on the path I was about to take. And she even had the audacity to try attracting me to visit her shop!

This shopping mall is called ITC and located in Surabaya. Despite having air conditioners on all floors, some visitors and merchants are freely smoking.

Okay not some. Only a little number, minority. And not freely, at least the merchants are doing it secretly, squatting behind low counters or high shelves. But the smell of cigarettes can go a long way toward other visitors who hates it, don't you think?


I was struggling to survive and didn't have the luxury of being a moral creature.
-- Howard Moskowitz --

Lately there's a new phenomenon in my country, namely prostitution. News are filled with the story of lots and lots of pimps being arrested.

Second to that is corruption. One can expect to drink his/her morning coffee, open his/her morning paper and land his/her eyes on either news about prostitution or news about corruption.

the equalizer

After Jet Li and Jackie Chan starring The Forbidden Kingdom in 2008, Sylvester Stallone in 2006 Rocky Balboa, and Bruce Wilis at dunno what year's Die Hard, now Denzel Washington takes turn acting with little regards to his age.

The Equalizer portrayed Denzel as someone skillful in killing who clashed with Russian mobster for the sake of a female hooker at the bottom link of their organization.

Likeness with those gramps mentioned above? Nobody lays their hands on their female counterparts. :D

no kids zone

No Kids Zones appeared all over Korea. It is a rule that denied children under certain age entrance to restaurants, cafes, and saunas.

That makes me wonder, when will Indonesia have these too? A rule that guides places where ordinary people can sit and enjoy whatever can be afforded by their medium-wage, be it parfait, dinner, or a movie over weekend without having to tolerate other people's childen running around, throwing tantrums, screaming at the top of their tiny lungs with their parents are around doing nothing?

did 'qualms' come from the word 'alms'?

Because we feel qualms if we don't give alms, that's why.

But not always. Lately I've been asked for alms by a beggar repeatedly. Her 'working route' passed my bus stop. She always asked me for money in Javanese's lowest dialect.

A few hundred years ago, Javanese people were Hindu people. I think the dialects was invented at that time. You know, caste system, people from caste A can only speak in certain dialect toward people from caste B, while people from caste B must respond in another dialect, things like that. Although Hinduism has long subsided in Java island, its application in Javanese language dialects still exists until now. People may not speak with their elders using Javanese lowest dialect, employee may not speak to their employer using that dialect, because it is disrespectful. Even people avoid using that dialect toward other people from lower social status if they've just known each other for a brief time!

I don't know whether she only knew that dialect in Javanese language and didn't know any other languages, but given that she lived in Java island of Indonesia, I think that's highly unlikely. Her fellow beggars, if they could not use better dialect, always used Indonesian language, or stayed silent and asked for money using hand gesture. If you were me, would you have qualms for not giving alms to her?

not that I'm against people with disabilities

Start from Hirodata Ototake, Nick Vujicic, now Claudio Vieira de Oliveira. Can it happen that in the future, occupation of motivators reserved only for people with disabilities?


I stare at good-looking guys; because I often wonder how different my life would be if I were as attractive as they are.
-- I'm straight I swear --

Me too! But at good looking girls, other parts: staring, different life, and straight are the same.
-- me --

This is the most confusing commercial movie I have ever seen. Full of documentary clips about animals giving birth etc, I cannot say that this movie is my favorite. Funny, because I usually like Luc Besson's movies.

Also I noticed Scarlett Johansson's uneven teeth here. Never once noticed it in Marvel's where she's Black Widow.

windows xp -- part two

windows xp

For some people automatic updates are very annoying. I will tell you how to turn off automatic updates on Windows XP.

There are four ways, for myself, I like to play safe by doing them all.
1. Go to Control Panel, make sure you are on Category view, then choose Security Center. Manage security settings for Automatic Updates, then turn it off.
2. Start > right click on My Computer > Properties > choose Automatic Updates Tab > turn it off.
3. Run > msconfig > choose Service Tab > make sure the box beside Automatic Update is not ticked.
4. Run > services.msc > double click on Automatic Update > make sure the auto start option is set to Disabled and the service itself is stopped.

windows xp

windows xp

Although Windows XP is no longer being updated by Microsoft, some people are still using it. And for those people, today I will show how to enable hibernation on Windows XP. Go to Control Panel, make sure you are on Classic view, then choose Power Options. Go to Hibernate tab, make sure Enable Hibernation is ticked.

And to actually do hibernate your computer: On shut down menu, press and hold Shift button, hibernate option will appear.

secret meeting acknowledged by rajasa and (former?) political opponent

“We can be different [in political stance] but we don’t [have to] stop saying hello to each other. What’s wrong with me having silaturahim with Jokowi after the [presidential] competition?” Hatta said.
-- Hatta admits 'secret' meeting with Jokowi, denies political negotiations --

Meanwhile, Jokowi was being evasive, saying that Rajasa and himself only met for the sake of sweet tooth. Or more like salty tooth, because they met to eat lemper. Lemper is an Indonesian dish made of glutinous rice filled with chicken. Wikipedia explains it better than I do: The meat filling is rolled inside the rice, in a fashion similar to an egg roll; this is in turn rolled and wrapped inside a banana leaf, oil paper, plastic sheet or tinfoil to make a packet ready for serving. Lemper are most often seen as snacks, but may sometimes be served as appetizers as well.

Little is heard from Prabowo Subianto, Rajasa's teammate in 2014 presidential election.

must be the most awkward phone call in one's life

No matter how awkward you feel right now, you can't beat the one person who called Pizza Hut because his pizza was taking forever and was told, "I'm sorry, your pizza delivery man died in a traffic accident."

ebola and... we are living in a world like this

Kent Brantly is the first man to survive ebola virus. He gave thanks to God publicly, and soon after, media was criticizing him. Some went as far as stating that his speech was bizarre. In a mocking tone others responded to Kent's statement "I serve a faithful God who answers prayers" with "I guess God just ignored the prayers of all those thousands of people who died of Ebola, then."

We are now living in a world where praying people are scrutinized. The thing is, it is God's prerogative to decide who lives and who dies. Dr. Kent Brantly was spared from death. The cure for ebola is now found. Instead of wasting time questioning His decisions, why don't distribute said medicine to people who are infected?

mighty morphin power rangers

power rangers

Mecha TV series such as Power Rangers give us unrealistic expectations for problems to end in a given, finite time. Did you watch it when you were a kid? Rita Repulsa 'n Crew created a problem, five (or six, in latter episodes it's always six) rangers appeared, battle ensued, battle intensified, things were being supersized, battle was won by the rangers, all in one hour time lapse.

Or did you watch Kamen Rider Black RX? Same thing. It ends in one hour or one hour and half, depending on how many advertisements your TV station got.

But who can honestly, in their right adult mind, pointing to his/her problems and say, this problem will end in a week, that problem will end the day after tomorrow, that problem over there will end next hour?

maybelline crayon bow

I like its grey variant very much! Brown eyebrow pencils are so unnatural because my hair color is black, while black eyebrow pencils make my face look angry all the time. I bought grey from Maybelline last year, and I'm planning to use it all of my life (dramatic). Please don't discontinue this product ever!

dead cat

I had some english [sic] language lessons during my studies but I was a bad student. So my level is not good.
-- Learn English --

I had some Javanese language lessons during my studies but I was a bad student. So I'm not good at it.
-- me --

Depressing content alert: proceed at your own risk!

It happened about a year ago. My lover and I was going out of the house to fetch early dinner. The sun hadn't set, so it's not very dark.

At the end of the path lied a cat, not moving. Another cat was sitting nearby, watching idly. I remember asking my lover, why those cats are behaving strangely. But before I finished my sentence, he said that the cat that laid down was dead.

As we rode past it, I saw a small, dark pool near the dead cat's head. It was until sometime later it occurred to me that it was blood. The cat had been hit by a passing vehicle.

Unfortunately that image burnt into my memory. Image of that evening with weak sun-rays. The stillness of the dead cat. The stillness of its friend, perhaps seeing one of the many ways death dealt with its species.

step up: all in

step up all in

I'm getting more and more in love with the character portrayed by Adam Sevani, Moose. The first time I saw him was in Step Up 2, I think. He was wearing clothes that made us think his body must be skinny. But my, look at him somewhere between the middle and the end of that movie! He flashed us, although only through a mirror, his chiseled chest and belly.

And having a dance video in a high-voltage factory? Man, only a guy with a mad scientist kind of brain could write such impossible coreography! Wait, but that's what he was. What he portrayed, anyway. In the dance video. Yes, it was half-dance-half-theatrical act. Or maybe third-quarter-dance-a-quarter-theatrical act. But the dance was awesome. Kinda made me remember Michael Jackson's Thriller.

Alexandra Brava reminds me of Effie Trinket in The Hunger Games.

The dance in the boxer ring reminds me of The Godfather. Or Pulp Fiction. Which I have never seen either. But I'm sure I've ever read about that Italian mafia-style 'head in the bucket' thing somewhere.

And they all reminds me of how much, much, much I have loved dance. Maybe I still do.

God help me!


At this very moment, I am holding a brochure with a bare-tummied man on pagefront. It was an advertising for men. Rich men. Middle-aged rich men, seeing from what it had to offer: botox, mesotheraphy, testosterone and vitamin shots.

Strangely enough, it also offers hormone shots. What type of hormone? Human growth hormone.

In essence, this is war against aging and any bodily imperfections. With money as your ammunition. Hey, all is fair in love and war, right? ;)

r-driver iii

This amazing device changes any hard disk, be it 2.5" IDE, 3.5" IDE, 5.25" IDE or SATA into portable hard disk you can access using USB 2.0 interface. The same goes for disk drive, from normal CD-Rom or DVD-Rom into portable!

Okay now I sound like a computer store salesperson. =_=

rawon majapahit


Sidoarjo's most popoular rawon maker has a unique policy: whatever dish you're having apart from rice and rawon soup, you pay all the same. Empal (Indonesian beef cuisine) is of the same price with perkedel, omelette, etc. Normally empal costs a lot more than mere perkedel.

men who dress well

Of course gays dress well...They didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing :)
-- KaylaBayla --

I know a man who dressed well, and he wasn't gay. There are two possibilites then, he maybe a closeted bisexual (not gay, since he's having wife and children and still actively chasing girls out of wedlock), or he's taking advices from a gay friend.

dawn of the planet of the apes

... holds second position in the list of movies I've watched with least human words. What movie holds first position? Wall-E, of course!

About DotPotA, there's something in this movie that doesn't sit right with me. After a coup against their leader (also an ape), apes attacked a human colony and made them prisoners. Some humans were able to ask for help from another place by radio, though.

In the meantime, the couped leader succeeded in returning to throne after having a duel with his couper. His guards freed human prisoners. Then a human told that peace-loving ape leader that a human troop was coming to help people there and that apes should run.

That ape king's answer astonished me. He implied that they couldn't return to their old home for fear that they would be hunted down. He said, "Humans will not forgive."

This movie is a tongue in cheek toward humanity. I think he was right. Even though it wasn't his fault, humans wouldn't care. For us humans, it's better safe than sorry, so he would be eliminated without second thought should we ever capture him. We humans would not listen to a small number of us who're trying to explain the truth. We would bully that small amount, call them crazy and incinerate them if needed. Most of all we would not forgive.

Or would we?

Note to self: find out how many apes are needed to change a light bulb. Your light bulb.

you know what?

You know what I want to do right now? Curling on a king-sized spring bed, turning on an air conditioner, re-read Harry Potter series.

Let the world pass me by with its craziness...

No more work demands, no more pretend-courtesies with people like this one who said: "Another person told me I must have scored extremely low on IQ tests, so I will act accordingly from now on." Tell me people, what a civilized person supposed to say as a reply under such circumstances? It was not the first time she said something like that. The first time ("Someone accused me of being imbecile! Therefore I will deliberately be one!") I thought that the person who'd told her such thing must be a horrible person, but after two more incidents, I started to think that person must have his/her reasons saying so.

You know what? Forget it. I eventually grew tired of her sh*t and said "Whatever."

So now back to just bed. AC. Me. And JK Rowling's masterpiece.

life is not easy

Life is not easy.
-- a Chinese friend --

Today once again some parents decided to bring their kids to watch movies. Which is super-OK if they don't:
1. Disturb other people with sounds they make with their mouths.
2. Disturb other people with movements they make with their limbs.

Seriously parents, what is wrong with you? A little discipline won't kill your kids. Other people are paying real cash to watch this movie!

If you say 'let kids be kids', flash news for you parents, life is not getting easier. If you don't discipline them while they are young, somewhere later in their life someone else authoritative will, and usually in a hard way. Possibly a boss or supervisor. Let's just hope it's not some law enforcement force.

salad fingers

This viral video has been around for quite some time. Have you watched it? I just finished the first episode. Why does that young child sound elephant trumpeting? Erowrrh!

edge of tomorrow

I never thought I'd be laughing watching a man got rolled over by a truck. And it wasn't in some cartoons. And he didn't have some super power that made him immune to the impact. He indeed died. And not a nice death his body was having.


>.< It was a good movie, one that made me felt for Tom Cruise. Before this I disliked him, maybe because of his roles in Top Gun and Magnolia. Especially Magnolia. How I hate his character there!

most undelicious rawons in the world

One is at Brangkal Mojokerto, called Maduratna. The other is at Bypass Mojoagung, called Anda.

I was deeply disappointed when I ate rawon at Anda, because their rawon used to be delicious. :(

i was just wondering how often should we...


1. Wash windows curtains in a year?

2. Defecate in a week?

3. Trim our hair in one year?

4. Have your handbag cleaned in a month?

teeth brushing

My colleagues know this habit of mine, that is before doing some really important job, I have to brush my teeth.

The thing is, I can concentrate more if my mouth feels clean. This habit started a few years ago, when I started saving for having my braces. You know the book 'The Secret', it was true, I started acting like I already had the braces e.g brushing my teeth after meals, and in a few months I actually had them, quicker than I thought I could do. And that habit stands strong even though the braces were off.

I think Meutya Hafid can relate to me. In her book '168 Hours Taken as A Hostage: Memoirs of a Journalist in Iraq', this reporter wrote that she needed to wash her face and brush her teeth before conveying a message in front of the camera.

I know someone who was in struggle for having nice breath all the time. He kept Listerine by his side. The problem is, long-time-usage of Listerine makes people have sore throats. Well, at least it does on me. And him. He coughed a lot. I told him to dump Listerine but he wouldn't listen to me. Like telling a middle-aged man to dump his hobby of inviting prostitutes over, really.


The recipe of fresh breath is easy, even though you don't have the luxury of time (and circumstances) to brush your teeth. Just use toothpaste like you use Listerine.

This, I haven't told him yet.

lodeh bug for the first time

I ate a bug. No la. I ate lodeh bug by Bug Matira near Malang Train Station. It was a famous place among food tester community people. When my lover and I searched for this place, we almost gave up. The street number is not ascending nor descending, but random!

Well, not all are random. Some houses were lined numerically. But the bug lady's place (lame pun not intended) was not. Just when we were about to leave, I saw name sign of that place.

So, what are the composition of this famous meal? Rice, of course. And lodeh, unripe jackfruits cooked Madura style. Also serundeng. What made the meal unique was serundeng crackers. So they grated coconuts and dried them under the sun, and I dunno what other process done upon them until they became serundeng, and then processed some more to make them crisp.

But someone told me when another people went there, they served wintermelon lodeh instead of jackruit one. Some other time they served lodeh made of unripe papayas.

tutu skirt -- part two

This obsession over tutu skirts started at about ten years ago. Other girls with slimmer bodies were wearing them as latest fashion, and this ugly duckling was just staring at them.

Then I wanted to tailor one but no more shops sold them because it was out of fashion. But then it was in fashion again, maybe two years ago. And I kept cancelling to have one tailored for me because I thought it wouldn't fit my age.

Then it almost went out of fashion when I saw Strawberry employees wore neon pink tutu skirts. Then I realized tutu skirts are my true love, and I had to, I just had to, have one (or several).

tutu skirt


I had wanted a tutu skirt for like, forever. Due to my body size it was impossible, until a few weekends ago. I was taking a stroll at PTC mall when I saw this sale on clothes.

I came near and took two skirts from their hanger. At first I was skeptical those will fit on me. But then, one fitted! Even better, it was the tutu skirt!

It was a beautiful nude colored tutu skirt with a layer of lace topmost. Actually I wanted all-black all-tule tutu skirt, but hey, this one had exceeded my expectations! I couldn't stop smiling for a while after. :D

I love PTC! A few years ago when I was much bigger I also found a swimming suit there!

gondhol meatball for the first time

Last month I went to Malang. The city was situated on rather high plains, on the slopes of a mountain, so the streets are hilly, naturally. Following a reccomendation from a colleague, I had pork meatball for lunch.

The place was actually named after its owner, Mr. Gondhol, but due to people spelling it wrong all the time, he relented and placed a big banner in front of it, calling the place Gundul's.

haven't i

Why do you keep haunting me, my past mistake? Haven't I paid you enough to go away? I even paid you enough to go across the ocean, find a good Chinese manufacturer, and open a successful online shop from there!

i'd never thought

... I would do something like that. Once I saw a woman did it with a man and I thought she had lost her mind. But then I was doing exactly what she did. The stupidity. The non-repenting. And so the rain was pouring.

... when I hopped behind him on a motorcycle. I held my open umbrella with one hand. As the wind is getting stronger I was forced to hold it with both hands. So stupid, right? To think that the wind almost blew me away!


What was it you thought I did?


Do you know that eating dragonfruits, the purple ones, could cause your dump (and pee) purplish red? Almost like you're peeing blood. My friend experienced this for the first time about two years ago. At that time dragonfruits were not as vastly known as it is today. She said her heart almost stopped looking at the toilet bowl when was about to flush.

I, being an airhead I was, experienced the same mini heart-attack after forgetting said friend's warning when she saw me eating a purple dragonfruit for the first time.

running out of ideas

I want to blog about... actually, dunno. Lately I've been writing more often than I used to, so now I kind of running out of things to say.

Let's take it easy this time, shall we?

same pants

I am very happy to see fashion blogger Cheesie Ringo Tan wore the same pants that I have.

Feels like my fashion sense was affirmed or something. :D

infants and puppies

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was a gifted 18th Vienesse composer whose works remain highly influental with sleeping infants.
-- TL;DR Wikipedia --

-- me --

My lover had a three-days-two-nights encounter with four German shepherd puppies. He has been talking about them everyday since. About them licking him, about them trying to climb his feet, about them following him a lot, about their ankles that seemed too big for their little bodies, about their ever-wagging tails, about them waiting for him to feed them...

I'm afraid my place will be taken by those pups. :[

pizza hut

Last night I dreamt I went to Pizza Hut for late dinner with my lover. It was near closing time, written clearly on our waitress' face. I ordered anyway. It was a package that costed me more than six hundred thousand rupiahs. I know, I know, it's a h*lluva lot of money, but it was just a dream, besides, it's my dream, I have every right to spend whatever sum of money in my dreams! :D

The package turned out to be incomplete. One meal was not served, they ran out of it. When I confronted that waitress, she said something that offended me.

I then demanded to see the manager. She apologized profusely and gave me a gift as token of sincerity. It was a short white dress with some gems on its chest strap. The meal was also replaced with another meal -- now it's strange, but at that time it wasn't strange at all -- rice with Javanese style fried chicken.

Then a mall security guard came. Apparently this Pizza Hut was inside a shopping mall, and it was past closing time. I was surprised when my lover pointed at the clock. It was already 1 at night!

a spoon of god

Thelma for "Mankind" to think that a duty identifies them as a child of God... is a shaky ground to walk on... I have seen many who have stopped being devoted to serve God's people because the position they held was given to another.
-- A Spoon of God --

Yes I am a narcissist. But God spoke to me using that weakness of mine, too. I was googling myself when this book excerpt of Didi Brown's dropped dead called my name.

I personally think this author needs a better editor, because there are sentences that can better convey his (her?) messages. He didn't use punctuations when needed, he used capitals at wrong places, some punctuations are not necessary... Nevertheless one message came through to me. It was something that happened many years ago. I was surprised God still wanted to talk about it, when I had already forgotten.

That many years ago God was silent.

Why now?

To say I stopped serving God's people after a position I held was taken from me was exaggerating, but indeed my service has been a lot less vigilant since. I even got into things I never dreamt of doing when I was still in that position, but that's another story.

Why now?

When I have lost contact with most of the people in my past?

Why now?

After I held not-so-nice rapport on God's line of work in my hand?

Why now?

What are You planning to do, God?

300, israel-style -- part two

baby spiders

Gideon's journey with God put him in many confrontations with his biggest weakness. Every time the challenge increased until it got to the point of getting ridiculous. It feels like after you tell your therapist you have a spider phobia, he ties you to his chair and throws five pails full of spiders to you! Exposure method. Only in a radical way. Much, much more radical way.

My heart went to Gideon as I read his story. God's treatment to me wasn't very different. I bet toward you He also won't differ much.

My suggestion? While on The Highest Therapist's chair, make sure you close your mouth so no spider can crawl in.

300, israel-style

Gideon, ever heard of him? Sometime before David was king, but after Moses splitted Red Sea, angel of God visited Gideon and said, "Save Israel from the hand of the Midianites." Israelites had sought refuge to the mountains because Midianites opressed them. For years, after Israel had sown some seeds, the Midianites came and destroyed the growth. In fact, when the angel came, Gideon was camouflaging a winepress to hide it from the Midianites.

First sign of inferiority complex that kept occuring throughout his story was shown in his answer: "Werewith shall I save Israel?" He said he was the least in his family, and his family is poor in his tribe. Probably from the corner of his eye he saw his father's grove next to an altar for Baal and thought (but didn't say), 'Why not choose someone whose whole family worship God?'

Maybe God caught his glance. "Cut down that grove!"

I almost can hear Gideon murmured from four-digits years ago: 'My father's soooo gonna kill me...'

He cut the grove down nonetheless. Thankfully his father didn't desire to kill him afterwards. But his fellow citizens did. Whole town marched to his house, demanding that he be killed.


In my life I have made mistakes. And sometimes they were too grave a question popped up in my head 'What have I done?' And the question repeated itself over and over again. I wonder did the same question rolled over Gideon's one. How many people are in his city? Surabaya has more than 3 million people as per 2012. Even if Gideon didn't have that question initially, eventually he would. Perhaps not from himself. It's possible that after seeing all those people, his family members chanted it toward him like a mantra: "What have you done-what have you done-what have you done. What have you done-what have you done-what have you done..."

Don't worry, he slipped from this unscathed. But his relief was short-lived. The Midianites took their allies, the Amalekites and people from the east to made camp on Jezreel Valley, preparing to wage war against Israel. I don't know how Gideon went from a criminal to a hero suddenly, maybe because of his lineage. He was recruiting men in respond to the threat.

Modern Jizreel Valley is said to be 380 square kilometers. The Bible said they filled the land, their amount was enourmous, like grasshoppers on crops. Let me repeat the words for you: they filled the land approx. 380 square kilometres. Their amount was enourmous. Their amount was like grasshoppers on crops. The Bible also stated that the amount of their camels was uncountable, like sand on beaches.

And amount of people Gideon could recruit? 32 thousands. Aand... the angel of God came and told Gideon to lessen that amount. At this point I wonder if Gideon was raised strictly, for he wasn't foul-mouthing when he heard what the angel said. The amount of his people was already so tiny compared to the enemy!

Nonetheless he ordered those who felt afraid to go home. He was left with only ten thousand people. At this point it wouldn't surprise me if some people in his army doubted Gideon's sanity. "Did you hear? He once chopped down his father's grove." 'No way! The one with altar for Baal?' "Yes he did! My cousin's friend was his uncle! Scared the whole family when an angry mob came to their house!" 'Was he out of his good mind? Oh I know, he was out of his mind when he chopped down Baal's grove, he is out of his mind again now! Lessening the amount of our army? We are doomed!'

Or intentions. "After the number's so small, I think he intends to run away!" 'That can be the case! Because he was afraid to admit that we couldn't win! We are doomed!'

Or leadership skills. "Guy's motivational speech backfired huh? Intended to inspire our army but left with less than half?" 'We are doomed!'

Aaand... the angel came again. Out of all words that can be uttered, he said that Gideon's men were still too many.

XD Help, I can't breathe.

Gideon did not utter a bad word. Gotta admire his self control, really! He lessened his men to 300 only.

Later, only after two obedient responses to God's commands, Gideon had it that his enemy killed each other in confusion that came from God. Long story short, Gideon won the war.

horse meat for the first time

horse meat

The place belonged to Mr Eksan. He sold all kinds of satay: horse meat, mushroom, escargot. Horse meat there was also found in meatball and krengsengan. There was also deep fried crunchy escargot.

Okay, escargot was not an alien to me, but horse meat was. I ordered horse meat satay. Mr Eksan's had it smothered in soy sauce and peanut-sugar sauce.

So how was it? It tasted so much similar to mutton.

Location? Near 2nd Kandat Junior High School. Price? 19 thousand rupiahs.

satay: Indonesian food. Its spelling varies from satay, sate, to satai. Basically chopped grilled meat on a stick a.k.a skewers.
krengsengan: Indonesian food. Chopped meat cooked in soy sauce and dunno what other ingredients.


Lately I'm having constipation. It is one day without, one day within. Those that comes out is twice as much, since there's nothing came out the day before. I wonder what causes this. I cannot afford to go to doctor for every trivial matter concerning my body function.

the bribe

I am not at my best condition. I screwed up, and when I tried to fix it, things got nasty pretty quick and out of control. I must admit I held grudge toward some people who made things difficult for me. Yet in the end I chose to forgive. Not because I was so kind-hearted or because their faults were trivial. It's because God told me to forgive. The thing is, I want God to allow me one chance. Getting out of this trouble is so important to me, I don't care what it takes. If I can kinda bribe Him by forgiving others, so be it.

You hear me, God (and my readers). Put me in a powerful position, it's okay. I won't revenge those people. Please help me.

hey chica

This new favorite workout song of mine was sung by Kiana Brown. First time hearing it, I was watching The Smurfs 2 with my lover. This song is the soundtrack of said movie. The song conveys the message of a girl being modern, pretty, and a little rebelious, just like Smurfette in that movie. Listen to the song, you will love it instantly! :D

facing your giants

When I read this book's excerpt on Max Lucado's site, I thought "Who on earth can write a whole book about that battle between David and Goliath?" That battle, however famous, cannot fill a whole book.

... Or can it?

But turns out there were other giants beside Goliath David had to face! Want to know who they are? Read the book! ;)

tricky robbery


Two days ago my friend's house get robbed. There were not any casualties. It was done in stealth, although we think the robber was armed, it was not an armed robbery. It went on like this: that noon, my friend was not at home. Her husband and baby were also out of the house. The only person left in the house is their housemaid.

Came some men in disguise of cable repairman. The maid let them go in. They proceeded to do some technician-y thing behind the TV, then they told the maid they needed to pull a cable up to the roof. The maid showed them a hole on the ceiling or they managed to poke a hole themselves, I was not clear, but then like 90's action movies they located main bedroom. After reaching main bedroom they poked a hole on the ceiling again and enter that room from above.

My friend (and her maid) was not aware of the deeds until later that night when my friend returned home. She lost i-Pad and some cash. The robbers, in search of valuables, turned her bedroom into a mess.

3 days to kill

3 days to kill

With the same screenwriter as Taxi has, 3 Days to Kill sure shares some of its hilarious jokes. The story evolves around a dying man who needs to be a hitman for a certain woman in exchange of medication for his terminal cancer. His tasks are getting more and more complicated as the family he had abandoned, whom he contacted with reconciliation in mind prior to his meeting with this injection woman, come in his way.

This movie also has some surreal scenes, as seen through main character's eyes, while he is fighting side effects of the medicine. But maybe it is reality. I don't know. His employer is a very strange yet beautiful woman. I personally love her style when she wears that white-blode wig. She shows profusely that she is attracted to the main character. But she is probably a bisexual for arranging a cabaret turning into striptease show in her place. But again, maybe the striptease is just main character's hallucination.

eurasian nose peak

I got this unconventional make up tutorial from the internet. It differs from other make up tricks I have read so far.

First you have to whiten the bridge of the nose with concealer. Then use the concealer to draw a circle or ellipse on the nose peak, above the nostrils. Then draw U-shape framing that peak using gray eyeshadow lightly. Or black eyeshadow very lightly. Then dab face powder all over the nose.

Tadah! You now have the nose of an eurasian!

i, frankenstein

It is very vampire-vs-werewolf-y than the traditional making of movies with similar titles. Victor Frankenstein, the mad scientist only appeared for less than 10 mins in this movie, half of the time as a dead corpse on the ground.

The creature Victor made soon got trapped in the war between demons and gargoyles. Queen of gargoyles named him Adam. After betrayal from both sides he eventually sided with the gargoyles.

Adam Frankenstein was very muscular. When female protagonist tended his injuries (on his back, thus the shirtless lapse of time), I elbowed my lover. "What do you think if after the movie we went to cemetery to fetch guys with muscles?" He was not very muscular. And was not amused. And he kept pinching my cheek. XD

judge and jury

So I was doing this translation job for a friend. Judge and Jury by James Patterson. As I stepped into higher chapters I realized why this novel hasn't been translated into Indonesian language yet. It is because inside there are a lot of idioms we are not familiar with.

For example poker. There are hole cards, ante, fold, raise, chip, pot, flush, low pairs, etc. Crime: union tampering, mistrial. Chess: opening, pawn break, etc. How am I supposed to translate all of them, making my readers who are not familiar with poker or chess or American justice system understand what's going on in the novel?

In the end I didn't translate most of those words but did add some explanation in other sentences... I feel bad... What should a translator do in such case?

Anyway, the story is about mafia in New York. First time I received it from the customer I was always on my toes until I finished reading it. If you have time you should read it. It put me on suspense!