reward mentality

The danger of having a deed-reward mentality is that it becomes hard for us to understand the will of God when we are frustrated. Oh, why is this happening to me? Why is God is not listening to my prayers? What have I done wrong?
-- Deed-Reward Mentality --

I must confess, I have this sort of mentality. In extreme. So when something I'm working on doesn't show immediate result, I get frustrated, and in more than one occasion quit.

Oh the humongous list! Learning drums, guitar, Latin dance, cooking, Arabic, sewing, Phyton, driving, swimming, gift-wrapping, just to name a few.

But this post won't end on me lamenting over them. For many years my eyes were shut on this matter, like a blind man I kept wondering why I can't finish most things that I had started. Now I know! You can't imagine my joy!

The question is, what next?

campanula rapunculus -- part two

When I was browsing about the plant, I stumbled upon its use on homeopathy. Homeopathy is methods of curing diseases by using plants that has similar criteria with them. Similar cures similar, it said.

So Campanula Rapunculus heals those who worry a lot, who doesn't have firm stand in life (due to its nature of wiggling if blown by the wind).

Homeopathy said something about water memory, too. Can't be bothered to look it up now, have a friend waiting for me at Tunjungan Plaza, got to go!

campanula rapunculus

rapunzel plant

A kind of purple bellflower, I wonder how Grimm brothers could write that Rapunzel's mother had drooled over this plant during her pregnancy. I mean it is flowering plant, bell-shaped, with purple color. Must say looks a little toxic to me.

By the way how did ancient people know which plant was edible and which plant wasn't? Were they having a volunteer or was a not-so-fortunate man from the tribe chosen (read: forced) to test the poison level on assorted plants by eating them?

is this a dead-end?

Seth said that asking yourself 'Is this something that will respond to guts, effort and investment?' helps you decide whether or not this is where you can commit.

He kinda opened my eyes on my current situation. This man is brilliant. Some other time he told me people are not rational. Which happen to be realized as truth, days later. I think I'm gonna worship him now.

now is a bad time!

Now is a bad time to take a loan and start your own business, because credit rate is ridiculously high.

Now is a bad time for students who are sent by their rich parents to go study abroad, since rupiah exchange rate becomes more and more insignificant against US dollar.

Now is a bad time for university students in general, I think. Someone said we Indonesians are entering second sequel of monetary crisis, having the first one strucked us 15 years ago. And who says university fee is not expensive?

Now is a bad time to start selling carnal knowledge. Cancel your plan to become some old millionaire's mistress. Many companies will face great difficulties, and when your patron goes bankrupt, what will he use to pay your allowance? Some other time when economy is flourishing, you may consider this occupation. But now is a bad time. If taipans go bankrupt, their mistresses will be left with nothing but bad names and addiction of expensive lifestyle they no longer can afford.

But that being said, now is also a bad time to seek honest job. How can firms hire new blood when they are laying off employees?

Now is a bad time to waste on non-profitting activities. Reduce or omit completely videogaming, except if you work as game reviewer. Besides freeing you some time and money, quit smoking has its health and social benefit. Stop daydreaming and take a second job (if there is one available). Start improving yourself so that you can excel in your main job. See opportunities around you. Yes, even in such bad time, there are vast opportunities around, old and new. Take a slight change in point of view and you will find them.

Whether or not you should stop charity is not on my expertise to say...

However your passion is not a non-profitting activity. Say you like to dance. If we really are going to enter monetary crisis, organizers can't afford top dancers to dance on product launchings, but they can hire less expensive dancers, this is where you go in. This is opportunity. But even if your passion doesn't generate money, they are good for your mental well-being. It gives you sense of accomplishment usually achieved from others' praises; in this bad time nobody has time to notice others' achievements, they are too busy preventing their business from falling. There are only few passions in the world that cost more than the bill of a psychiatrist's service.

... I thought and thought and thought (you could almost hear my brain ticking), still I can't find a bridge from last paragraph to sentence below, but I will write it anyway, I don't want to discard it.

Now is a bad time to be someone other than yourself.

the call

the call

Carefully built suspense that could have made this movie so awesome is tainted by its main character's decision on last 1/3 duration. Any woman, even those who don't work as 911 operators should know better than tracking a serial killer to the place he abandoned his car. Wait, not just a place. A rural, mountainous place, aforementioned serial killer's property with no neigbours nearby. Alone. At night. After all police left that place. Without first informing friends or relatives where she's going. Not even her boyfriend, who happen to be the police investigating that scene.

And when logic kicks in after finding an entrance to a dungeon, the phone must fall inside. Taking it, goes into hiding upon hearing footsteps, the main character's logic vaporizes again into thin air. Cancel that phone call! Follow the serial killer deeper into the dungeon!


arise and shine

Sometime ago, I had this silly experience, and had nobody to blame but myself. The joke is on me. I can't believe how stupid I was!

And... I can't stay like this forever. I have responsibilities. I must change. I must rise! Rise! Riseee!!!

china's one child policy

Around 1990, a second child birth in China could make his family fined almost 2000 RMB. This family planning policy was launched in 1982. My friend's parents gave their third child to a childless couple to avoid being fined (for the second time!). That time, 2000 is too much for them.

how to get rid of bad character?

I often find myself struggling to feel sincerely happy for others' success, even though it is the success of people I like or love.

Anytime they tell me about their success, I told those that I think will understand (or already knew) something like 'I am happy for your success, but I feel a little jealous.'

Usually I sweeten that up to them with 'But my happiness is greater than my jealousy'.

economic frustration

I am a scholar, or so I like to think. The non-economic scholar. So when suddenly forced to manage my finance, I was (and still) doing it like some limp men - dragging one foot.

Instead of learning trends of stock market, I googled the history of candlestick chart (if you want to know, it was created in 18th century by a Japanese rice trader).

game addiction

Do you have a friend who is a game addict? I know one guy who skipped university test for the sake of gaming. The question is, why game is so intoxicating to some people, while having little to no effect to others?

I have some theories... Toward those who feel they have been treated unjustly, game offers the clear reward system - unlike real life.

Toward those so-called control freaks, game is soothing that tendency.

Toward those who feel like life has no point, game keeps their mind off their state of mind and help them fast-forward to bedtime. By the time the go to bed, they sleep soundly due to exhaustion. This helps people with insomnia, too.

But not all troubled people like gaming, and not all contented people refrain from gaming, so gaming just brings out whatever it is in one person, I guess.

Some more on addictions... They conducted an experience and reported: people who never do drugs experience less depression - but isn't it higher depression that got people to use drugs at the beginning?