the good guy

I always want to do things without people humming behind me, uttering how stupid my decisions are, how I should do other things instead of this silly little thing nobody would do.

I am always a reader. I want to read all books in the world. And when I watched The Good Guy, something inside me rebelled. This movie tells about a book club whose members are reading Lolita.

I know about Lolita. I have wanted so desperately to read it, but I declined and declined because it's an immoral story. Or so I'm told.

I will believe it no longer. Too many people open their mouth for things they don't know, or in this case, have passion about.

So... On the right side of this blog, I put a list of books i want to read. By any chance you live near me and have those books, be kind and tell me OK! I'll borrow them..

ways of a heartbreak


And I listened to you. And I don't understand.
-- me --

I was heartbroken. Again.

It felt like a jab on your diaphragm. It felt like all your senses became clearer out of nowhere, almost two times as clear as it had used to be. And it's bad, coz you'd feel the jab on your diaphragm almost two times as painful.

I had difficulty breathing.

If your heart's ever broken, you'll know that the difficulty breathing has nothing to do with anything physical. Actually you can breath normally. Actually you DO breathe normally. But you're conviced to take the pain that would emerge had you stopped breathing.

Why would the body do such a thing, I have a theory. It's to divide the pain. If all pain should be carried mentally, one cannot resist. But divided between the heart and the body, it's still bearable.

It's interesting to observe things like this. If you're not in the position of having your heart broken, that is.

first sign of moving on

You know you're in love when you value his opinion above any others'. You know you're out of love when you no longer care what he may think (or not think) about you.